"Procrastinators unite... tomorrow!"
"I'm not a morning person. I'm a coffee person."
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"I used to be a banker, but I lost interest."
"Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!"
"I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode."
Can't find the slogans you're looking for?
"My brain has too many tabs open."
"Currently avoiding laundry like it's a zombie apocalypse."
"Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?"
"I'm a multitasker - I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once."
"Dear naps, I’m sorry I was a jerk. I love you now."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"If you're going to rise, you might as well shine!"
"Warning: may contain sarcasm."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"Don't worry, I’m here to confuse you!"
"Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put my keys in the fridge."
"Running late is my cardio."
"I follow the 'get rich quick' scheme - I just took the 'get slow and broke' route!"
"I told my therapist about my fear of heights. Now she makes me jump to conclusions."
"If you can read this, I’m hiding from my responsibilities."
"I’m on an all-carb diet. Pasta is my friend."
"I’m really just a limited edition."
"I wish Mondays had a face so I could punch it."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach ads."
"Coffee: because adulting is hard."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch!"
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook."
"I'm an acquired taste. If you don’t like me, acquire some taste."
"I like hashtags because they look like waffles."
"I'm not lazy; I'm in energy-saving mode."
"I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing."
"Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice."
"I did it my way… and it was wrong."
"Procrastinators unite… tomorrow!"
"I speak fluent sarcasm."
"I’m silently correcting your grammar."
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"I thought I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"I don’t need an excuse; I need a coffee."
"Born to express, not to impress."
"I'm not weird, I'm limited edition."
"I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets it wrong."
"Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things."
"I'm trying to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud."
"My life is a constant battle between my love of food and not wanting to get fat."
"I'm not short, I'm concentrated awesome."
"I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"I put the 'Pro' in procrastination."
"Currently avoiding adulting like it’s my job."
"Sassy, classy, and a bit bad-assy."
"I’m multi-talented: I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once."
"Why is Monday so far from Friday but Friday so close to Monday?"
"I can't adult today. Please don't make me."
"I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode."
"If you can read this, bring me tacos."
"My life feels like a test I didn't study for."
"I'm just a girl standing in front of my fridge asking it to love her."
"I’m on a whiskey diet and I’ve lost three days!"
"I'm here to avoid friends on Facebook."
"I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"Sarcasm: the comfort food of my soul."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach wallpapers."
"I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure."
"Cue the drama, it's my life."
"Brains are awesome. I wish everybody had one!"
"I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome."
"If you think I'm cute, you should see my dog."
"I can’t believe I’m not sleeping right now."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch."
"The only running I do is running out of time."
"I don’t always procrastinate, but when I do, I prefer to wait."
"Brain loading... please wait!"
"Why fit in when you were born to stand out?"
"I’m not short, I’m fun-sized!"
"I'm on a diet. A donut diet!"
"I told my computer I needed a break, now it won't stop sending me beach wallpapers."
"I don't need an internet connection; I’m so popular."
"If you can’t laugh at yourself, I’ll do it for you."
"Warning: May contain sarcasm!"
"In my defense, I was left unsupervised."
"I might look like I’m listening, but in my head, I’m eating cupcakes."
"I’m not lazy, I’m in energy-saving mode."
"I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"I’m just here to avoid friends' requests."
"My weekend is all booked, Netflix and snacks included."
"Messy bun and getting stuff done!"
"Save water, drink champagne!"
"If I were a vegetable, I’d be a ‘cute-cumber’!"
"Too cool for regular shirts."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!"
"Sarcasm is my superpower."
"This shirt is 100% sarcasm."
Can't find the slogans you're looking for?