"The only thing stronger than Chuck Norris is his mustache."
"Chuck Norris doesn't need a weapon; he is the weapon."
"Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink."
"Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS, he just knows where he's going."
"Chuck Norris can hear sign language."
"Chuck Norris can write in the dark."
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"The only thing that can stop Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris."
"Chuck Norris's shadows are afraid of him."
"Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried."
"Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice."
"When Chuck Norris enters the water, he doesn't get wet; the water gets Chuck Norris'd."
"Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits."
"When Chuck Norris enters a room, even shadows salute."
"Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door."
"Chuck Norris is the reason dinosaurs are extinct."
"Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg."
"They say laughter is the best medicine, unless you're Chuck Norris."
"When the boogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris."
"Chuck Norris doesn’t use the internet; the internet uses him."
"Chuck Norris runs on a treadmill made out of Chuck Norris."
"Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch; he decides what time it is."
"Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in three moves."
"Chuck Norris’s jokes are so strong, they lift spirits."
"When Chuck Norris does a yoga pose, the mat does the pose."
"Chuck Norris makes onions cry."
"Fear runs from Chuck Norris."
"If Chuck Norris was a vegetable, he'd be a fierce-orable."
"Chuck Norris can divide by zero."
"When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he's not lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down."
"Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the Earth down."
"Chuck Norris doesn’t sweat; the rain gets scared."
"Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin."
"Chuck Norris laughs in the face of danger—then he calls it names."
"Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice."
"Chuck Norris: The original action figure."
"In Chuck Norris's world, every day is a knockout."
"Chuck Norris can set fire to water."
"Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS; he decides where he is."
"When Chuck Norris does a plank, the floor gets nervous."
"When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn't lifting himself up; he's pushing the Earth down."
"Chuck Norris doesn't read books; books read Chuck Norris."
"The Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris."
"Chuck Norris once did a load of laundry and it came out clean."
"Chuck Norris can win an argument against a brick wall."
"Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow; his shadow has him."
"Chuck Norris: Fear is just a word in the dictionary."
"Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs."
"Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in three moves."
"When Chuck Norris speaks, everyone else listens."
"Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups; he pushes the Earth down."
"There’s no classroom without Chuck Norris."
"Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry."
"Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer."
"The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris."
"When the Hulk gets angry, he turns into Chuck Norris."
"Chuck Norris doesn't stop at red lights; he just stares at them until they turn green."
"Chuck Norris can flick a booger and kill a dinosaur."
"When Chuck Norris enters a room, time stands still."
"Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer; too bad he has never cried."
"Chuck Norris doesn’t do cardio; cardio does Chuck Norris."
"The grass is always greener on Chuck Norris's side."
"If Chuck Norris were a fruit, he'd be a 'hero-berry'."
"Chuck Norris doesn’t need a GPS; he decides where he is."
"Chuck Norris doesn't have an expiration date; he is the expiration date."
"Chuck Norris can make onions cry."
"Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe; he holds air hostage."
"Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris."
"When Chuck Norris fights the ocean, the ocean has to learn to swim first."
"Chuck Norris's shadow can win a staring contest."
"In a fight between Chuck Norris and Batman, the winner is Chuck Norris."
"There are no shortcuts to greatness, except those carved by Chuck Norris."
"Chuck Norris can make a voicemail disappear."
"Chuck Norris doesn’t dial the wrong number; you answer the wrong phone."
"There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allowed to live."
"Fear is just a word in Chuck Norris's dictionary."
"Chuck Norris can speak braille."
"When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he's not lifting himself up; he's pushing the Earth down."
"When Chuck Norris enters a room, even the light takes a moment to shine."
"Lightning bolts envy Chuck Norris's speed."
"The only thing that can kill Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris himself—but even that’s debatable."
"In the game of life, Chuck Norris is the referee."
"If Chuck Norris says he's hungry, the world stops for a meal."
"Chuck Norris can fertilize a garden with just a glare."
"Chuck Norris can turn a black hole inside out."
"Chuck Norris can watch 60 Minutes in 20 seconds."
"Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle."
"The only thing stronger than Chuck Norris is his beard."
"When the going gets tough, Chuck Norris gets tougher."
"Chuck Norris: Fear has a new name."
"Every time Chuck Norris blinks, a new legend is born."
"Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer; too bad he's never cried."
"Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart apologized."
"Chuck Norris once made a Happy Meal cry."
"Chuck Norris doesn't use the Internet; the Internet uses him."
"When Chuck Norris enters a room, everyone forgets why they came."
"Real heroes wear boots – Chuck Norris has never worn shoes."
"Chuck Norris counts to infinity... twice."
"Chuck Norris once got into a fight with a rock – and the rock lost."
"Chuck Norris built the castle in the sky."
"Chuck Norris doesn't sleep; he waits."
"Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding."
"Chuck Norris: The only man who can make a roundhouse kick straight."
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