"Sassy, classy, and a bit bad-assy."
"I’m not a morning person; I’m a coffee person."
"If you can't convince them, confuse them."
"My life feels like a test I didn’t study for."
"Why be moody when you can shake your booty?"
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
Can't find the slogans you're looking for?
"Just wing it: life, eyeliner, everything!"
"Coffee: because adulting is hard."
"Running late is my cardio."
"Calories don’t count on the weekend!"
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"I'm not short, I'm fun-sized."
"I may be a mess, but I'm a hot mess!"
"I asked for patience, God gave me children."
"My brain has too many tabs open."
"Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things."
"I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
"I was going to take over the world, but I overslept."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!"
"Procrastinators unite... tomorrow!"
"Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?"
"Running out of coffee is a disaster."
"I put the ‘el’ in 'delusional'."
"If you think I’m weird, you should meet my whole family."
"Why fit in when you were born to stand out?"
"I’m silently correcting your grammar."
"I’m not a regular mom, I’m a cool mom."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me beach wallpapers."
"I can't adult today; please don't make me."
"I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already!"
"I’m just here to avoid friends on Facebook."
"I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
"If I were funny, I’d have a better tagline."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch."
"I came, I saw, I made it awkward."
"I’m a multitasker: I can listen, ignore and forget all at once."
"I don’t need an excuse to be lazy."
"I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode."
"I put the 'pro' in procrastinate."
"Dieting is easy; it’s like riding a bike, except the bike is a donut and the ground is cookies."
"I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"I’m not short, I'm fun-sized!"
"Running on coffee, sarcasm, and inappropriate thoughts."
"If you think I’m a mess, you should see my brain."
"If there's a will, I want to be in it."
"I’m on a seafood diet: I see food and I eat it."
"Sarcasm: because beating around the bush takes too long."
"I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it."
"I’m in shape. Round is a shape, right?"
"I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing."
"In my defense, I was left unsupervised."
"Have I mentioned I've got an awesome sense of humor?"
"I came. I saw. I made it awkward."
"Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!"
"Quitting is for athletes."
"I'm not great at advice, but can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach wallpapers."
"Not all who wander are lost, some are just looking for coffee."
"You're never too old to act like a kid."
"Sarcasm: my second language."
"I don't mind if you think I'm wrong, I'm just not ready to admit it."
"I'm silently correcting your grammar."
"I'm not procrastinating, I'm prioritizing my leisure time."
"I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"If we’re not supposed to eat midnight snacks, why is there even a light in the fridge?"
"I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge."
"I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"If you think I'm crazy, you should meet my friends."
"If I was funny, I would have a better slogan."
"I'm not short, I'm fun-sized!"
"My mood depends on how much coffee I have."
"I can't adult today. Please don't make me."
"I might be a bad influence, but damn, I'm fun!"
"I need six months of vacation, twice a year."
"I’m not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing."
"Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice."
"My spirit animal is a sloth."
"I'm on a 'no-carb' diet. No carbs in THIS shirt!"
"Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix."
"If you think I'm cute, you should see my dog."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"I don't need an inspirational quote. I need coffee."
"There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will get this."
"Out of my mind—back in five minutes."
"I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch."
"Chaos coordinator and coffee connoisseur."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life."
"Why yes, I do frequently burst out in song!"
"If there’s a will, there’s a way...to get out of doing chores."
"I put the 'pro' in procrastination."
Can't find the slogans you're looking for?